Dwro8ea's room

I'm listening to a lot of P!nk lately again, Snow Patrol, Ingrid Michaelson.. my usual..

It's all your fault
You called me beautiful
You turned me out
And now I can't turn back
I hold my breath
Because you were perfect
But I'm running out of air
And it's not fair

These lyrics came a year a half too late but I guess I still know what it feels like aaaaaaaaaand it sucks! :)

I start my placement today.. not getting paid for it of course..! What a joy! I'm not in the best of moods lately. That f*cking economic crisis is ruining my life and probably not mine only. No jobs, no money, no life! I'm probably gonna miss Iwona in Italy and most certainly Kathy & Eyad's wedding in Greece. I'll be lucky if I get to go to my sister's wedding, who by the way is driving me nuts with it! Many people sitting on my head lately and I want to abandon everything and run away. I'm ok when it's about my responsibilities but I HATE when other people hang from me cause they are afraid to face life and expect from me what they shoudl be doing. No, that's a bit too much. And I'm tired. And I need some summer and it's been raining all night and I'm cranky cause I had a bad dream and I woke up at 4am and haven't slept since. And I caa't have coffee. 2009 sucks. I want to go back to 2008.

 I'M IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE WITH A FAIRYTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALE!!! Amazing violin!!!

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YouTube - EUROVISION 2009 WINNER -NORWAY ALEXANDER RYBAK FAIRYTALE -HQ STEREO
  

 

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YouTube - Germany Eurovision 2009 : "Alex swings Oscar sings" (live)
  

I think I must have looked at over 100 wedding dresses today (while I should be studying biochem.) on ebay. My sister is getting married this summer and she's looking for her dress. Since in Greece they ask for ridiculous prices for a wedding dress (2,000 euros to rent a dress for 1 day!) I suggested maybe she should have a look on ebay in case she finds the wedding dress she liked in a more reasonable price.  Well she showed me the design and I went through pages and pages on ebay.. and i came to realize.. so many women on ebay selling their wedding dresses. Some of them have even used a picture from their own wedding. Scary! What does that even mean? Did the wedding go bad or they used the dress and now they pass it on? Are some of them getting rid off it cause the wedding didn't work and along with the torn pictures of their ex-husband they seel anything reminding them of that wedding? That thought creeped me out!! My sister preparing this huge wedding this summer that i'm not really a big fan off. She'll have a huge dress that can stand on its own and make noise, make up and hair done to the point that not a single hair will be moving, i'm guessing. loool... bless her!

...and get our parents homes in the South of France...
Let's get rich and get everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance..
You and I ... You and I...

I love Ingrid Michaelson...she's so different and some of you would say weird.. but I looooooooooove weird people. They are interesting! I just bought tickets for me and Mark to go see her at the Bush Hall in London on the 27th of April. Can't wait...! It will be my first ever concert in the UK!! I know.. it took me a while.. LOL

Today I came to thinking about.. past lovers or old flings. Some people like Miranda in Sex&The City need their ex-partner to NOT-EXIST after they broke up. Samantha says... 'women are for friendships... men are for fucking!' - I bet that was pretty clear. I think I'm a bit of Carrie on that. The exs I managed to keep in touch with are the ones that wanted to keep in touch with me. No struggle. There are these kind of people that you just can be civil after the fire is out. You can be good friends and with a couple of them I have had more meaningful words than with my best friends. And may I note that I'm never afraid to say what I think (that's where my Samantha comes out!). Two New Year's Eves back I exchanged kisses with a very sweet guy which ended up saying that he likes me but finds me a bit scary :(((( . Nobody evertold me that before.. God! I was shocked..!!! Didn't speak to him until a few days ago, when I was listening to 'Starlight' by Muse which I remembered was one of his favorite songs. Dropped him a line and we are back in short contact. So glad he's normal and he did reply. Cause it was just a friendly e-mail to see how he's doing. Well.. not all people take it like that though... refering back to the previous post.. which I went over and over in my head. I stressed, I cried a bit and then I said... FUCK OFF!! I don't even care!! hahaha! And I'm back to not giving a shit! And I'm happier like that :D

See u @ Bush Hall on the 27th of April :D :D :D Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

But before I close I'd like to share a small weird story with you that read this blog and never leave a comment and with you that care to reply to me sometimes to make me feel like I don't talk to myself..(grazie Lea :) )

Two Falls ago I was in Italy for a conference, in Macerata. Then went to Florence to meet my friend Silvia. On my way back to UK, Silvia put me on the last train from Florence to Pisa around 23.30-24.00 so I can catch my flight from Pisa airport. My train was supposed to be going to Pisa Airport 'Galileo Galilei'. I sat down next to a guy around my age. He turned out to be Greek and one year older than me. He was going to Torino for a job or a Masters interview. Something like that. We got the talking. His girlfriend called at some point, he said he met a Greek girl on the train. She didn't sound very happy :) . We chat a bit. He was studying something engineering and he was finishing soon. Then I realized that my train is not going to the airport anymore. He helped me out to communicate with the train people (cause my Italian is not that good). He was very helpful and he didn't have to be. He didn't even know me. We exchange e-mails but apart from one e-mail we never got in touch again.
Readingthe new about the terrible earthquake in L'Aquila and Abruzzo I heard news about him. Bad news. He was trapped under the house he was living in. His sister managed to get out but he didn't. But hte first news were positive, they were going to get him out. So I went to sleep careless that he's gonan be out soon. Yesterday I woke up and read on the news that he didn't make it. I was so shocked. He was a good man. His family should know that. I hope the tragedy in Italy is over soon. It's just terrible what happened.

Rest in Peace Vasilis.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight! Well have you ever had an itch?.... I mean like eating you..?... And you shouldn't... But you really wonna dig in!! Remember the 'unfinished business' we talked about before?! God! I wish sometimes I could just let go. And most of the times I do. But this story is the weirdest of my life and it's been eating me for ageeeeeees. Started as two things, then headed into one direction, then it came out.. that was all a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE MISTAKE! And now out of nowhere the other side is back torturing me... So here's the deal.. Once upon a time in the far far west... Candy met two friends, Terry and Anthony. She liked them both. Charlie was strong and cool and very sexy and her friends were telling her to go out with him. He was more her style. They were more compatible. Anthony was sweet and different and a hopeless romantic but kind of an ass hole deep down as proved later. The problem was Candy was a bit scared of Terry . He came off too strong and like he didn't like Terry much. So Candy went out with Reese once. Then for almost a year she hang on hoping about her and Anthony, cause he was making her believe he wanted her, that he wanted them to be together. But... never happened. Sometime during that year, Terry asked Candy one night, while having drinks with Anthony and another friend, if Candy liked him. Candy panicked. Anthony was sitting right next to her. She didn't know what to say, so she said 'no'. Which wasn't true. Unfortunately Terry probably felt offended and Candy never had the chance to explain. Even though she tried. Months later she invited him to go for a coffee but he refused. All that time Candy was hanging on to her hope with Anthony. Until one day she couldn't take it anymore. She told him everything about how she feels. She only saw him once more after that to say 'goodbye'. She had met someone else and was moving away. Terry cut Candy out of his life shortly after her offer to go for a coffee. And Candy cut Anthony out of her life after moving away. She is in a new relationship for a year now and her new boyfriend is a great guy. But every now and then she thinks of Terry and what it would have been like if she had said 'yes' that night. Or if Terry had given her a chance to explain... I guess we'll never know... Apparently Terry has a new relationship too and he seems happy. But Candy is going over this story again and again in her head. Lately she got suspicious about Anthony's motives. She remembered that she asked Anthony for Terry's number but he always found excuses not to give it to her. Candy is not sure if Terry ever knew about this. Or what Anthony ever passed on to him for that matter. Candy also remembers Anthony saying to her repeatedly that he's a very selfish man (for himself), when she would say he's really nice.. Candy is afraid that Reese didn't really want her or didn't know what he want but he didn't want his friend to have her either and she started hating him for that. Mary is afraid she made the wrong choice. She feels she should talk to Terry if they ever meet again and explain. Will it even matter?? What do you do when you think someone has screwed you over so badly?? Tortured you for ages and all for his own ego?? I went through a similar situation with Candy and I just can't let it go!! Seriously... what do you do??

'I used to rule the world....Seas would rise when I gave the word...Now in the morning I sleep alone...Sweep the streets I used to own...

I used to roll the dice...Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes....Listen as the crowd would sing..."Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"....I discovered that my castles stand....Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

Be my mirror, my sword and shield...My missionaries in a foreign field...For some reason I can't explain....Once you go there was never.....Never an honest word....And that was when I ruled the world'

Song of the day: Coldplay - Viva La Vida!

Never an honest word. I've been going over this and over this in my head for the past... year! I need to get out of the loop. Iwona is right. I'll never get the closure I'm looking for. Some people suck as 'friends' cause I guess they never had any. How can YOU call ME  a friend. When u don't have the decency to give me some closure. U made me feel like a crazy person cause u simply didn't have the guts to take responsibility of your actions and feelings. We were never friends. And we'll never be. Thank God for Iwona that came online and I vented! <3 u!

'Be my mirror, my sword and shield' - that's what a friend is. That line reminds me of Mark. I know i got a lot of friends that love me and have protected me many times but Mark is my prince :) and he's sleeping right now next to me, like one :)) happy moments.

Maybe I should go to bed. I had a nice nameday. Watched a lovely movie and had a nice dinner and so many people remembered & wished me. Thank you all! Nighty night!

Hmmm.... remember those days where we used to sit in the park and laugh. Take black and white pictures that upset people?! Ha!Ha! Or we'd show up randomly on each other's doors?? Like 'hey, where are you?' - 'Out clubbing. Are you still awake at 2am?!' - 'Come over!'. All these memories bring back only smiles.  Longest relationship of my life. Of any kind. Started weird and we thought it was over before it even started. And then things just evened out. And the love changed. Our love changed. That feels so warm. I still remember our last fight. I do. We were walking down Lothian road. And remembering that fight makes me miss u more. Can u believe it?And we miss each other and we [heart] each other but we reached days that we can't even keep simple promises. Like... 'I'll call u back later'. And u never do anymore. That makes me sad. I know people move on and the get into relationships and they move and they get married and they have children and they travel and they get old. But I always believed that our [heart] was going to last. I still believe that. Until proven otherwise. Our lives got so busy we miss each other and love each other and we wonna be together again, just spend time, laugh and... we never find time not even to talk to each other. I really.... really miss u! And I really want to see you soon.

I've been so tired the last few days that seems like the tiredness does not have an end. Well it does it's just a super busy period. Too many projects for uni but despite allall the tiredness I quite enjoy them. What I find difficult is decide what to eat lately. No, don't get allarmed, I'm not going anorexic or anything, I just feel not so creative in cooking lately. Other than that my life is pretty much steady right now. Spending weekends with Mark, catching up on much missed movies (latest I have to suggest was 'The Duchess') and catching up on sleep and laziness really..

I hate to admit it but I have ignored the love of my life, photography that is, lately only cause this season Bournemouth is quite uninteresting. Can't wait for the Spring and Summer where the place floods with people and life till the very late hours. I have to admit though... I still quite miss Edinburgh. I still dig through my thousands of pictures to find something good I haven't uploaded on Flickr yet. And thankfully I still got a lot of material to go. So, it will take some time until I actually let go of Edinburgh. I miss the places and the comfort I had in Edinburgh and most of all... my friends! A phone call here and there or msn or e-mail (rarely). Was so nice a few days ago when I called Marcos and he said 'it's so good to hear your voice' . Just remembering it makes me smile and feel safe. I made some really good friends in Edinburgh that I love to bits! We will catch up soon! I'm TRYING to find a weekend that is not busy!!!!! So I can come and see you!!!

Book of the week.. 'Bones to ashes' by (who else?) Kathy Reichs!! I think I love it the most. A gift from Mark Enjoy it!! I love the sarcasm with she handles things like nothing!! Iwona: she reminds me of u!!!!!!